Okay so first off, I planned a whole wedding and did not get to execute it (whomp whomp). My hubby pulled off an amazing surprise proposal in November 2018 and we planned to get married in May 2020. As you know, 2020 introduced us to COVID-19 and just like that, my magical wedding was postponed.
Hubs and I decided to postpone our wedding celebration until February 2021, when we thought COVID would be a thing of the past. We wanted to keep our actual wedding date, so we got married in our living room, isolated. We had an intimate ceremony with immediate family and friends over Zoom and we looked forward to our big celebration in February. Chile, around December 2020, we realized things were actually getting worse, so we decided to just cancel all together. Fun fact: There was a terrible ice storm in Houston (our reception site) during the weekend we had chosen for the re-do, so we would have had to cancel anyway. Look at God!
Even though I did not get to have my dream wedding, I learned a lot during the wedding planning process. Here are some of the most important lessons learned.
Lay a Solid Foundation
Before you start diving into the details, it’s crucial to lay a solid foundation for your wedding planning process.
- Budget: Set and stick to your budget. Be sure it is realistic, considering the type of wedding you would like to have. Discuss with your partner and determine how much you’re comfortable spending on your big day. Whether the budget is $100 or $1,000,000, do not allow anyone to make you feel guilty for your decisions. It’s your coin and your big day!
- Guestlist: How many people would you like to attend? It can just be the two of you at the courthouse or you can invite everyone you know, including Susie from the third grade. The choice is yours, but you need to decide based on your wants and your budget. How many people can you afford to feed? Who are they? One thing I did that was very helpful was make a list. The list consisted of A, B, and C columns. The A column was our non-negotiables (parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, wedding party, etc). The B column added cousins, good friends, sorority sisters/college buddies, etc. The C column was our associates, ya know the FB friends we ki-ki with online. If there was space left after the RSVPs, the C column would come into play. Having a well thought out, organized list made this part of the process much less stressful.
- Timeline: Time is of the essence! Cliché, but it’s so true. Develop a wedding timeline to keep yourself organized. Set specific deadlines for booking vendors, sending invitations and completing other important tasks.
Select a Venue
Now that you have a foundation, it’s time to move on to selecting the perfect venue. This can be a very fun part of the wedding planning process. Perfect is relative to you, it could your backyard (or your living room, hehe), a beautiful chapel, a beach or an underwater atrium, just keep the budget in mind.
- Go to the venue: Do not trust the pictures on the website. I repeat: Do not trust the pictures on the website! You know how we know our best angles? We have our friends laying on the ground to get the money shot. Venues are doing the same thing yall. They are getting the best angles, the best lighting, the best photos. The photo may make the venue look bigger, brighter, and all around better. You need to lay eyes on it. Make sure what you see is what you get.
- Visit multiple venues: Even if the first place blows your mind, go see at least one other place. Make a list in advance of the top 5 (or 10 or whatever) venues that you would like to see and see them all. Schedule appointments and make them happen. Take your partner, and your planner if you have one, with you. Compare their offerings, amenities, and pricing. Take note of their capacity, location and any restrictions they might have.
Vendors
Okay, who are your vendors? Make a list of them. Make sure to include your clergy, ceremony musician(s), photographer, videographer, caterer, cake designer/baker, DJ/Band, hairdresser, makeup artist, dress maker, calligrapher, and anyone else that you are paying for a service.
- Do your research on any suggested vendors. Read reviews and ask for recommendations. Once you have a list of potential vendors, schedule interviews to discuss your vision, ask about their experience, and review their portfolio. If time allows, do run throughs. This is especially important for your hair dresser and makeup artist.
- Get everything in writing. To avoid any misunderstandings, ensure that you have a written contract with each vendor. This contract should include the scope of work, payment details, cancellation policies, and any additional services.
Food & Drinks
Let’s face it, yes they love you and are happy for you, but the people are coming to eat (and drink). Once you have chosen your venue, find out if they provide food? Do they have an in-house caterer? Will you need to hire a caterer? Do they bake wedding cakes or do you need to hire a baker? Either way, TASTE the food first. You need to make sure the food meets your standards. This is not a time to trust your sister in law’s baby cousin Traci. Go taste the food yourself.
Have the bartender make you a drink or two. How much is an open bar? Is a cash bar an option? Don’t have people leaving your wedding saying how beautiful you were but the drinks were watered down and the food was awful. We don’t want you waking up the next morning, opening Instagram and seeing there was a let out at Mickey D’s with all your wedding guests.
Entertainment
What’s your vibe? Do you want a DJ on the 1s and 2s playing Cash Money (raises hand)? Do you want a live band with a singer taking you back to the 90s? Do you prefer a harpist, an A cappella quartet, a silent mime? Figure out how you want to get down and get to interviewing.
- Do they have a set fee for weddings/receptions? Do they have an hourly rate?
- What happens if your event goes over the allotted time? Will they pack up and leave or do they have a special fee for the extra time?
- Do they request or require food?
- Do they accept tips?
- Again, get it all in writing.
Insurance
Last but not least, get wedding insurance. This is a thing. Yall, wedding insurance saved us. It was very cheap and turned out to be very necessary. We were able to get about 90% of our money back and that was such a blessing. It was a very easy process and it did not take long to get our money. Keep your receipts and contracts and you’re good to go. It covers just about any reason that could cause you to cancel your wedding, except breaking up. No, you cannot catch him/her cheating or simply change your mind about marriage and get your coins back. Sorry!
Takeaway
Planning a wedding can be an exhilarating yet daunting task that requires careful organization and attention to detail. From setting a budget and creating a timeline to choosing the perfect venue and assembling a dream team of vendors, using these invaluable tips can assist you in navigating this transformative journey with ease. Let this guide be your trusted companion as you embark on this incredible adventure, transforming your wedding planning experience into a joyous and memorable celebration, ensuring that your special day unfolds seamlessly and reflects your unique love story.
For more extensive thoughts on my wedding planning, check out this Youtube video.
That’s It. That’s All Yall.
J. Bai
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