From Birth Plan to God’s Plan

0 to 100, real quick.

Due Date: March 11, 2022

From the moment we found out we were expecting, I went straight into planning mode, after the initial shock wore off of course. There were three things I knew I wanted to do, no questions asked:

• Hire an African American doula.
• Create and successfully execute a birth plan.
• Deliver vaginally (SN, I hate the term natural birth because ALL BIRTH IS NATURAL). I digress, let’s move on.

After a lot of research, I narrowed down my list of doulas. 2 Starbucks interviews later, we chose Ty from the Knoxville Black Doula Collective. Ty was educated, personable and the connection just felt right. I told her I wanted a birth plan and we got right into it. I’m talking everything from the dim of the lights to the labor playlist to the position I wanted to deliver in. Anybody ever got into a deep squat to push?

Pause. Three months prior to conceiving I had an open myomectomy to remove a 24cm fibroid (another post for another day). Despite being in great physical shape, this plus my age (35 is considered geriatric, blah) made me a higher risk pregnancy.

Ok, so boom. Everything was going great, my vitals were on point, baby’s vitals were outstanding and I was feeling good. There was one problem. The kid was breech. He refused to flip. Great, there goes my vaginal delivery and there goes my birth plan…maybe. My doctor said if he flipped before the 37 week mark, we could still deliver vaginally. So at this point, I was about 33 weeks pregnant with an upside down baby using my placenta as a pillow.

New (tentative) Due Date: March 4, 2022

Now, I’m seeing my doctor weekly for ultrasounds. I’m trying everything I can to get this kid to flip. I’m on YouTube, Dr. Google and asking mommies all over for advice. I started doing these exercises I found to encourage baby to turn. While, not painful, they were quite time consuming and inconvenient, but I was willing to try almost anything. Hubby and I were doing these moves three times a day, including a 4 am wake up to get in round one before work (Yikes).

Now, it’s time for my 37 week appointment. I was so excited to see if my baby cakes had flipped which would get me back to my birth plan. Usually during my ultrasounds, the tech would be very friendly, laughing and asking us questions about our excitement. This time, she was very quiet. She said, “I’m going to discuss this with your doctor and she will talk to you.” Hmmmm, what’s happening?! I felt fine so I didn’t want to read too much into it. I got cleaned up and went to the room to await my OB.

She came in and said “I have some not so great news.” My heart immediately started beating overtime and I fought to hold back tears. She told us my amniotic fluid was very low and it seems the unbiblical cord was wrapped around his neck twice. She told me to go to the hospital right away (cues waterfall of tears) and they would monitor me overnight. We’re having this baby tomorrow.

New Due Date: Tomorrow! February 18, 2022

The OB’s office was located in the parking lot of the hospital so hubby and I walked over, filled with anxiety. We made very difficult calls to our doula, parents, siblings and close friends and I could feel the prayer lines blowing up. By the time I was settled in my hospital room, I could literally feel the stress, anxiety and fear lift. I went from a birth plan being a non-negotiable to not even caring that I did not have it at the hospital with me. Hubby went to grab the almost packed hospital bag and some Chick Fil A. I ate and watched Netflix until I fell asleep.

The new plan was God’s Plan and that was to get my baby in my arms, safely. The operating room had bright lights, not the dim lighting I had in my plan. There were several people in the room, not the two I had in my plan. The only music was the song I sang in my head, not the playlist I had in my plan. The room smelled clean, but it was not the aroma of light lavender I had in my plan. Win came three weeks early, not the date in my birth plan.

Today and Everyday

Someone in some book said “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.” He probably got a good ki-ki from me. I spent so much time trying to get that plan just right and the only things in that plan that were congruent with reality were the doctor’s name and the hospital name (HA!). God’s plan will forever be my preference. It always hits just right.

Bonus: The unbiblical cord was not wrapped around Win’s neck twice. It was around his little neck FOUR times (eeek!). When I say God is Good All the Time, baybee it’s not just a cute little church saying. It is a testimony around these parts. Amen? Amen!

That’s It. That’s All Yall.

J. Bai