Congrats Sis! You just brought a beautiful life into the world! You made it through the amazing, but sometimes overwhelming months of pregnancy and have finally welcomed your little one to this side of the womb. What happens now? While many people offer advice and tips about pregnancy and childbirth, there are still many things that no one tells you (at least nobody told me, hmph) about postpartum. Sidenote: If you warned me about any of these things, do not @me in the comments, let’s just blame baby brain, mmmk. Anyway, I do not want yall to get caught at the corner of Eff Around & Find Out so let’s get into it.
Breastfeeding/Pumping Struggles. Breastfeeding is natural, but it is not always easy. Many new mothers struggle with latching (raises hand), milk supply, and sore nipples. Something that I think helped me with my supply was getting the right nutrients. I switched from a prenatal to a postnatal vitamin and I do believe it helped keep the milk factory going for 12 months.
Okay, so now we may have milk in the boobs, but getting it out is a different story. It is essential to seek help from a lactation consultant if you are experiencing any difficulties. Yall, I was having such a hard time the first few weeks. Win’s latch and my nipples were not getting along at all. Can you say Hurt.Ting?! Like, it was so bad at one point, I instantly got filled with anxiousness when he would start smacking his cute little lips. I was blessed to be introduced to my girl Natasha, an amazing lactation consultant. She provided support and guidance and got Win and I together in our first visit. She reminded me that when it’s all over, breastfeeding should be a joyful memory, not a dreadful one.
Also, while I’m here, let me say this. Pumping is a form of breastfeeding. You know what, this topic deserves its own post (let me put this on my to do list). For now, just remember that no matter the level of struggle, you are not a failure, and you are literally doing the best you can. The goal is to feed that baby and that can happen in many ways, each of them being the right way.
Postpartum Bleeding. After giving birth, your body will undergo a process called lochia. This is the shedding of the uterine lining and can last up to about 10 weeks (maybe longer). So, if you have been here a while, you know I had an open myomectomy a few months before getting pregnant. Due to the Lupron injections pre-surgery and the post-op recovery, I had not had a period since November 2021. So, when I had Win in February 2022, I had been free from bleeding for over a year (what a time to be alive).
That postpartum bleeding hit me dead in the forehead. So, enjoy the blood-free life while you can. The bleeding can be heavy at times and may require you to use heavy-duty pads or even adult diapers (whew chile). It is essential to keep the area clean and change your pad frequently to avoid an infection. These postpartum underwear were my go-to and I loved them (okay loved may be a strong word…but I loved them as much as you can love big diaper feeling underwear).
Postpartum Hair Loss. I was supposed to get box braids a week before my scheduled c-section, but my kid decided he didn’t want to be a March baby and made his earthly debut three weeks early. So, I met him with my twist out pony and this may have been a blessing in disguise. I have heard many mamas say once they took their braids out postpartum, their edges came out with them. Yall know we love to lay an edge, so I know this has to be disheartening.
I was fortunate in that my edges did not come out (Lord, I thank ya), but I did lose chunks (yes handfuls) of hair during my wash/condition process for months after delivering. Yes, I continued my vitamins. I oiled my scalp and I kept my hair hydrated and moisturized (the best I could while raising/feeding/carrying a brand-new life). I really do not know if there is anything you can do to about this beforehand, except mentally prepare for it.
Many women experience hair loss after giving birth. It is a result of all the hormonal changes in the body, and it is entirely normal. You may find that your hair is shedding more than usual, but do not worry; it will grow back eventually. Try your best to channel the frustration from hair loss into gratitude for your new little one. I can guarantee he/she does not care how your hair looks.
Sleep Deprivation. Okay, let’s be real. Only about 1,833,948 people told me “Get your sleep now because when that baby gets here, you won’t get a good night’s rest for a long while,” or something like that. I heard them. I really did, but yall, you do not get it until you get it. Newborns require a lot of attention and care, and this often means that new parents do not get much sleep.
I was a very busy college student (Go Rattlers), pledged Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Incorporated (Oo-Oop my Sorors), earned a thesis based graduate degree (Boiler Up) and have worked two and three jobs at a time. My point is, I have been sleep deprived before. I have gone over 48 hours without a wink of sleep and I know what tired can feel like, but baybee, there are two key differences here: 1. I am no longer in my 20s. This 30 something relies on getting at least 6 good hours of sleep each night and 2. it hits differently when you are super tired, but also must care for another human being who needs you for everything.
Absolutely nobody could have really prepared me for this, and I do not think this post, or any other person, can truly prepare you. Nevertheless, here ya go sis. This the one. You will be more tired than you can imagine…mmmk. Major key: if you can, get help. Get ya mama, mama in law, sister, best friends, neighbor, anyone you trust to come watch the kid for an hour or two so you can sleep. Trust me, you need it.
Emotional Ups & Downs. Postpartum depression is a well-known condition, but many new mothers experience other emotional changes that are not talked about as much. Heads up, you may feel anxious, overwhelmed, or even irritable in the first few weeks (or months) after giving birth. These feelings are normal and are often caused by the rapid hormonal changes in your body. If you feel you are experiencing any severe symptoms, please talk to your doctor. Note: give your significant other a break. They are more than likely tired and frustrated as well (plus they, too, are dealing with your hormonal changes). You’re on the same team sis!
Weird Body Changes. Your body has just gone through an amazing & significant transformation, and it is natural for it to take some time to return to its pre-pregnancy state. You will probably notice all the things that look different than they used to. I was a certified personal trainer and worked out my entire pregnancy. At one year postpartum, I still find myself looking in the mirror wondering if/when this will go back to normal or where that came from. You may experience changes such as stretch marks, loose skin, scarring, changes in your breast (this the one for me) or your body fat may just be distributed differently.
Give yourself a break sista girl. You deserve it! Remember that everybody and every body is different so whatever you do, do not compare your journey to the journey of anyone else. Take your time. Learn, or relearn, to love every piece of you. That beautiful bundle of joy you made is well worth having a little extra Hawaiian roll here or there. Who knows, you may like having some extra junk in the trunk!
Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional or an expert on any of these things. I am just a new mama that learned the hard way.
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That’s it. That’s All Yall.
J. Bai
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