For a long time I’ve talked about having a son, now that I have one two words come to mind: Grateful and Gah-leeeeee. Have a boy, boys are easy they said. Tuh! Easy is not the word I would use, but also, I would not trade being a Boy Mom for anything in the world. While I do enjoy the beautiful surprises baby boy brings, there are some things I wish yall had told me so I could have been prepared (well at least better prepared) for them. So let me help out the woman that just got that splash of blue at her gender reveal. Miss Ma’am, you are in for a ride. Let’s get into some of the baby (boy) mama drama ya girl have been learning the hard way.
Headbutts
Yall, I am almost positive I have had a concussion at some point in the last year. Like, what is this? Why do they do that? Does it hurt them too? I guess not because while I was almost in tears some days, he would just stare at me like what’s your problem.
I really do not know how to tell you to prepare for this mama, except DUCK. When you see that head go back, know that it’s about to come at your face full force (ouch). Also, make sure your dental insurance is to date, cause ya might get a chipped tooth, shrugs.
While I’m here though, headbutts aren’t the only thing to watch out for. Boys (at least mine) are rough in general. The little gentle touches just don’t always give gentle. Prepare to be slapped, pinched, punched and bit. It’s all in a loving manner (I think), but it still hurts.
Always Hungry
Soooo, I knew at some point my son would eat me out of house and home, but I thought I at least had until grade school. Nope! My kid is one and can always eat. He will eat his entire meal and the moment I pull out a snack for myself, here he comes. He wants his meal and ours too. The boy needs a job, mmmmk. Who’s hiring?
Dodging Pee
Ok so again, learn how to duck. Baby, that thing down there has no boundaries and no consistent direction. I know they are the cutest little humans you’ve ever seen, but when you open that diaper it’s time for business. Boy moms, my biggest tip here: Close. Your. Mouth. Do not talk. Don’t make funny faces. This is not the time to tell him how much you care. Get in, get it done and get out. I almost got sprayed in the mouth (yuck) and yeah, never again.
Energy
Boys are always on 1000. I don’t know how he does it, but if he’s awake, it’s time to party. Yall, it is nonstop. We’re climbing, jumping, diving, yelling, walking, talking, running, falling or a combo of it all at all times. It’s like he doesn’t get tired. I thank God for a happy, healthy baby. I just need to pray for greater endurance. I’m even getting into jogging (and I hate running) in an effort to keep up with him lol.
Your heart will completely melt
This one is self explanatory. Your G card will indeed be revoked. Boys love their mamas and they will turn you into a sap immediately. The way he lies on your chest and looks up at you with those beautiful eyes will make you swoon. That little boy opened up a love line I never knew existed.
Being a boy mom is like being in a cool gang. I feel like I got jumped in with my first headbutt and I’m never getting out. The great news is I love it here and I never want to leave!
P.S. Girl moms, chime in. Did your daughter put you through any of this or is it truly a boy thing?
That’s It. That’s All Yall.
J. Bai
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